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To Anyone Who Needs Help
To all who need help, unfortunately, society as a whole does not know how to help you. It is not their fault. They chose to forget, if they ever knew in the first place. But there is help you CAN find. Thankfully, there are those out there who still know how to seek Wisdom. I've learned a lot from all of them. This is how I assembled my personal philosophy over more than 15 years of hard work. Please read the whole thing, especially the part at the end about what not to do. Every section feeds back and forth into every other. I hope this helps. =Words to live by:= Know yourself. You are unique. There has never been anyone like you, and there never will be again. That's not a cute thought. It's a fact. You are a combination of your parents and friends and society, everything that has ever happened to you, everything you care about, and everything you could ever be. Nobody else has that. Nobody else can. They don't have your parents. They weren't there for everything you were. They don't like everything you like. They can't be what you can be. That's amazing. That's different. That's real. That's you. Never forget. Never give up. You are the only one who can be you. Being you is necessary. Being you is valuable. Being you is the most important thing you can be. And if you don't know who you are, find out. Look at everything you like. Think about everything you think about. That's you. And the more you look, the more you will find. Your parents don't define you. That was never their job, no matter how much they might try. If they do not support you then that is their loss, for you will accomplish great things, with or without them. Just as the soil chosen affects how a plant will grow, your parents have given you a starting place. Look at them. Understand them. Forgive them if you can. Be as kind as you can to them, for theirs is already a hard lot. You will appreciate them in time, as unlikely as that sounds. Take the good they have given you, and toss the rest. If they hurt you, it is only because they are in pain themselves, just like every other bully ever born. They went through everything you are going through, and clearly they never got the help they needed. You are. You will do better. There is no way you couldn't if you try. And clearly you are trying because you are reading this. Look at your life, see it as it is, and then choose to make something good with it, because you are the only one who can. Others can help, but you have to do the work. You have to be the one to figure out how to put it all together, because nobody can ever see your part of the puzzle as you can. You are the only one in control of your body and your actions and your life. That being said, you are not an island. Separation is an illusion. Everything is connected. Every sandwich you eat is one that someone else cannot. Every smile you wear makes someone else happy. Every time you drink, water goes in you, out of you, through a sewer, through a treatment plant, down a river, out into the ocean, up into the clouds, down out of the clouds into a reservoir, where it ultimately ends up right back into your cup, into everybody's cups in fact. Every time you help someone, you are helping us all, because they are now in a better place to help someone else, and the chain goes on. Everything that could ever happen has already happened countless times before, and if it hasn't happened before, it is happening countless places right now. Every time you stub your toe, someone else has done it before. Every time you fail a test, someone has done it before. Every time you go home at night, and you can't sleep because your parents are arguing, someone else has felt the same thing. Every time you can't take it anymore, and you want to die, and you just want the pain to stop, someone else has felt that exact same feeling before. You are not alone. You never were. You never could be. Never believe any person or feeling that you are alone. Other people have been there, and other people have survived. You can too. Believe it. You live in this world, take part in it. You are part of a situation. You are only a part, and others have their parts to add. You can be responsible for your part, and others might not know or want to be responsible for their parts. You have no control over that. Even when a situation fails because the people with the most power are not being responsible, that failure is not yours unless you have already given up on your part of the puzzle. Do the best you can with what you've got. Always try your hardest, and you will never truly fail. Life is a challenge, and facing that challenge is what makes the good great. I will say it again and again. You only truly fail if you give up. Otherwise, this is just a hiccup on your road to success. As long as you are alive, you can try again. Keep trying. Get in there, and this time you will do better. You might just figure it all out. You will never know unless you try. Friendship is real and possible and wonderful. When you find a true friend grab on and don't let go. They are a reminder to you of everything that is good and valuable in this world, and you are the same for them. That is a beautiful thing. Spend time with your friends. Reach out. Reinforce the bonds we all have by nature, and in consciously weaving the threads, you make a new patch of art and beauty for the great tapestry. True Friends are at their best when you are at your worst. Ask for help. Reach out. If you get slapped down, reach out again. They are out there, and they care, and they will find you. If everything before this is undeniable, then trying and fighting and hoping is not pointless. It is possible. You can be better. Life can get better. Everything is possible. Just try. The worst they can say is "no". And "no" is not the end. You don't have to let it be the end. "Don't take no for an answer." It doesn't mean force yourself on things or force a situation. It means never give up. If one thing isn't working, try something else. If you can't figure out what to change, just change something at random. Do ANYTHING different, and you might just find out what you SHOULD change. The definition of insanity is performing the exact same action repeatedly and expecting different results. Change is imperative. You never stop growing and learning and changing. It's just what being alive means. Change never stops. Change touches everything. Sometimes change is destructive, and that is OK too. Failure is not bad. Failure is instructive. Failure can show you what NOT to do. That's one less obstacle to success. Pain is not bad. Pain shows you where the problem is. The only way to stop succeeding is to stop trying. Failure happens to everybody. Failure happens all the time. Neither pain nor failure can stop you, they just redirect you. In a world of infinite possibilities, failure reduces it to a manageable set of successes. Furthermore, whatever hurts needs attention. Learn from your mistakes. Those who do not learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them. Pay attention. Think about it. Everything that happened has meaning, and you just have to look hard enough and long enough to find it. What you pay attention to grows. Scratch a bite and it will itch more. Worry about what is going to happen, and that is all you will be able to do. Thankfully, the more beneficial aspect is true as well. Pay attention to the search for solutions, and you will bring them to you. When you are looking for something, you will find it. The more of it out there, the easier it is to find, but in a universe of infinite possibilities, everything is out there somewhere. Perception shapes reality. If you are looking for red cars, you will see them everywhere. When you are looking for solutions for your problems, events and people that are around will jump up and try to help. Opportunities are as numerous as the stars in the sky. The trick is knowing when and where they will happen, and being ready to make the leap. When you are looking for reasons to do something, you will find them. When you are looking for reasons to not do something, you will find them. You can do whatever you put your mind to. Since you have the ability to try again every time you fail, there is literally no obstacle in this universe that can really stop you. You create your world with every action you take, because we are all connected. Think. Then act. Actions have consequences. We are all connected, so everything you do affects everyone around you. Whether you realize it or not, whether you recognize it or not, whether you understand it or not. You are responsible for what you do, BUT you are not responsible for how other people react. That is THEIR decision. It is OK to feel what you are feeling. Feeling is automatic. Action is a choice. The same goes for them. You can choose to let the feelings help you or you can choose to let the feelings stop you, but that is an active choice you make. Once you have understood what you feel, you can let it go and choose to feel something else. The easiest way to feel something different is to do something different. You are RESPONSIBLE for yourself and your actions, and nothing else in this world. You MUST take care of situations you are Responsible for, otherwise you will be creating more problems. You may not be responsible for what you are feeling, but you ARE responsible for what action you choose to take about it. Not making a decision is still making a decision. Inaction is an action. Letting things sit has consequences. Usually things get worse. Things will never get better unless someone MAKES them better. That requires action. And for problems in your life, that requires action from you. Every life is a story, so make yours a good one. Fight for what you believe in. Strive for happiness, for yourself, and for everyone around you. If you could choose between being really happy and really sad, which would you choose? Everyone else wants to be happy too. Help other people. Get involved. Since we are all connected, we all benefit whenever anybody helps. If you have figured something out, share the answer when you see them asking the same question. Be a good person, and you make the world a good place. We are all connected, and we spread everything we are, so be a force for good and spread happiness. We rise together, and we fall together, but whatever we do, it is always together. And since you are unique amongst the infinite pieces of this vast puzzle, you might just be the first to figure something out, and you might just be the source of a brand new wave of wonderfulness in this world, and that is creation, and it is beautiful, and it is a miracle. Miracles are real. They happen all the time. Paying your bills on time. Finding the thing you want on sale. Winning the level. It happens all the time. Helping a friend. Teaching a child. Solving a problem. It happens all the time. Finding your calling. Falling in love. Making a new friend. It happens all the time. Life is a miracle. Enjoy it. Celebrate it. Share it. You are a part of a vast tapestry of creation, unique and beautiful and valued. You are a miracle. Be proud. =Things to NOT do:= Guilt is useless, and by extension, blame is useless. It does not help any situation. You will never guilt someone into doing the right thing, and if you do, you sow the seeds for failure next time all the deeper. Placing blame is always less important than doing something to make the situation better. Fix it if you can, or bandage it if that is all you can do. Guilt and blame are passive reactions to a bad situation, when all the situation usually needs is a bit of action. Act to fix a situation, and you will blow past guilt and blame to the satisfaction of a problem solved. Finding out who is responsible is useful only in finding the best person to fix a situation. Sometimes the best person to fix a problem is the person who created it. Sometimes they are the only one who cannot fix it. The most important part of falling off the wagon is getting back on. Feeling guilty about failing to solve a problem, or blaming someone for failing to solve a problem STILL doesn't solve the problem. Trying again does. Again, the only true failure is giving up. Embarrassment is useless, and by extension, ridicule is useless. It does not help any situation. Embarrassment requires the thoughts that you are alone, and failure is bad, both of which are wrong. Ridicule is a sloppy way of trying to guilt people into being better, and I just finished saying that guilt is pointless. Every time you fart everyone else smells it, and is just as embarrassed as you, but that is ok, because everyone is just glad that they weren't the one that farted this time. Life happens, and it is ok. Everyone farts, for example. Some people are more careful about it, but I guarantee you that you will never, ever, ever meet a person that has never farted. All other embarrassing things follow the same formula. Embarrassment is nothing more than pain at having failed. Remember that failure is not bad, and you will have no need to be embarrassed. Always help out a neighbor when they fail, and not only will you strengthen us all, but you will also find that you have no time for ridicule. And, the most powerful remedy for the embarrassment of failure is the joy of success. Pay attention. Try again. You WILL do better next time. Jealousy is useless, and by extension, arrogance is useless. It does not help any situation. If you want something, go out there and try to get it. The worst you can do is fail, and failure is not bad, so you can try again. Try again until you get it, or realize that it is impossible. Some things are impossible, at least in the short term, especially when they require action from others. Accept that and move on. Impossible things are usually not impossible forever. Try again every once in a while, but don't stress. There are plenty of things that can make you happy in life. Keep looking and trying, and when you succeed, enjoy it. Enjoying it does not involve rubbing it in everyone else's faces. You are not better than other people for having succeeded in this one thing. Nobody is better than anybody else. Jealousy is believing that you are less. Arrogance is believing that others are less. Both are wrong. We are all wonderful and unique and thus incomparable. Being better than someone else at something, does not help them. Being the best person you can be, does. Pride is sacred. Be proud of yourself for having succeeded. Take solace and confidence and power from it. That is acceptable and reasonable and right. Appreciate help when it is given. We are all connected, so everyone helped you succeed, in little ways or in big ones. Thank people when they help you. You would want to be thanked, right? And since we are all connected, your success is everybody's success. Just like embarrassment, jealousy and arrogance encourage the illusions of failure and isolation. Jealousy is meaningless when you CAN have what you want, and arrogance is meaningless when you realize that making others lower than you means we are all lowered. ---- Follow some of this, and you will be doing better than the vast majority of people out there that have already given up. Follow most or all of it, and we just might be able to create a bright future for the human race after all. And you don't even have to agree with me, and you still might be right. That's the truest beauty of Wisdom and Truth. There's enough out there for all of us to make our own way, as unique as we are. Blessings and good luck for all of you. I have been there, and I have come through in amazing and unbelievable ways. I wish that success for all of you as well. I have been working on this for a while now, and I hope it has provided some of the answers you were looking for. For more help, check out our Philosophy Hub. Post by Doram » July 19th, 2013, 11:15 am